Ramses the Great is Gone

Ramses died. 

It's very quiet around here.

I spent yesterday morning washing and folding his bedding, dismantling and washing his raised dining accoutrements, emptying his five gallon bucket of water, putting away his collar, his harness, his leash, his brush, comb and electric tooth brush (bought by the crazy owner for her suburban dog ~ he liked poultry flavored tooth paste! I know, crazy, but I adored the boy!) and rounding up his toys and A.B.C.'d tennis balls.

The end of an era and lots of little reminders every day. When I went to Logan's for dinner on Friday night, he made poached Copper River (oh, yum!). In the olden days, I would have given Ramses the salmon skin (and he would have been in heaven!) but the salmon skin went into the trash. Reminders everywhere! Getting ready for bed. Ditto getting up. Ditto fixing breakfast and sharing a bagel. 

God, I loved that dog!

I know there are those who would say he was just a dog. And, yes, I know I will be happy again but right now, it just doesn’t seem possible. My heart is broken.

Ramses arrived at eight weeks and twenty pounds after Rick died and filled that enormous hole in my heart with those big brown eyes and that beautiful black face. He was fun. He was funny. He was goofy. He had dignity. He was ardent. He was devoted. He was constant. We went on Peace marches together, labor rallies, went in elevators, went to meetings, went to the park, ran errands and just hung out. Eleven and a half happy years. Perfect.

I’m reminded of W. H. Auden’s poem. I guess the truth about love is you never know when it’s going to happen and it’s a miracle every time it does.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The other truth about life is it is often unclear who rescues whom. I know in this relationship, I was the one who was rescued. I’m deeply thankful for every minute I had with Ramses. God, I loved that dog! Ramses the Great! 

And, oh, my heart is broken.

Every day grateful for Ramses the Great!